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By Lawrence Reaves

It is an unfortunate fact that most people will have to deal with divorce in their lifetime. Today, as many as half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce. No matter who you are, you are not going to avoid the emotional turmoil that accompanies divorce. Nor will any type of divorce you seek be convenient. When most people think of the process of divorce they envision the adversarial divorce: the stuff of dramatic movies and television shows, rife with custody battles, accusations, and financial conflict. However, if you and your spouse can arrive at an agreement regarding your children, property, and finances, you might consider an uncontested divorce. This process requires the two of you to work together in cooperation to arrive at a mutual agreement. While there will inevitably be disagreement, and it could get ugly, going this route will be more civil at the end.

To qualify for an uncontested divorce, you and your spouse will have to pore over your financial records to guarantee your awareness of any and all accounts and properties you both hold. This will prevent either of you from siphoning money into a secret account. Next, the two of you have to decide together how these funds and properties will be divided, and once you are both satisfied with this division you can apply for an uncontested divorce.

If there are children in the picture, you will have to have that discussion beforehand as well. Divorces notoriously get out of hand because of disagreement surrounding custody issues. The more time you spend calmly discussing custody and visitation, the more likely the two of you will be to find an agreeable schedule that best benefits you and the children. Divorce can take a horrible emotional toll on children of all ages, and sometimes this damage lasts a lifetime, so do make every effort to tackle this issue with civility and sensitivity. When the family is in agreement about custody and visitation, you and your spouse will be ready to file for uncontested divorce.

Working together on issues regarding property, finances, and children will ensure that you and your spouse spend less time and money on the divorce, and can get on with the business of rebuilding your lives. This can go a long way toward taking some of the strain out of the process. The simple fact is, we all want happiness, and we all want to avoid suffering. The best thing you can do is try to avoid causing your spouse any undue suffering and hope that he or she will do the same for you. Coming to an agreement regarding finances will reduce much of the emotional toll, and will save you both a great deal on the legal end of things, so take the time to have these discussions. It is unrealistic to expect to simply sit down together on the sofa and talk through a fair division of money and properties.

If the two of you could have a productive discussion like this, you probably would not be filing for divorce. This is a difficult process, but if you work hard to arrive at a mutually acceptable compromise, you will protect one another and your children from suffering unnecessary suffering throughout the divorce.

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Fairfax County

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